BLOGGERS WITHDRAWAL SYNDROME

When we set off on vacation I was under the impression that I would be able to access the internet pretty much the whole time we would be gone.  Then, at the last minute my husband announces that we will be camping out on the first part of the trip.  What, no hotel with free highspeed dsl internet access?  I calm myself on the drive down to Arizona.  It will be late by the time we get there, and we haven't made any reservations at the campgrounds.  I play along, pretending to be excited about camping out at the Reservation, but inside I'm keeping track of all the hotels in the area as we near our destination.  We pass the last hotel well before we ever hit the Hopi reservation.  Fortunately (?) reservations are not needed to camp on the designated camp ground/RV park/squatters alley.  We pitch the tent in the middle of nowhere.  There is no highspeed dsl access within 200 miles.

After a tour of the kivas and ancestral homes of my husband's grandparents (not even a regular phone line to be found there), we head off to the Grand Canyon.  Being a federal monument, and a big tourist attraction I know for a fact that there will be no vacantcies at the campgrounds.  I am wrong.  I stare at the public payphones, trying to figure a way to hack into them, but my family wants to sightsee.  There are no phone lines in the Desert View Tower, or at our campsite.  Later, in the tent the kids watch a dvd on the computer.  I tap the keyboard desolately.  I now have the shakes.

The next day its off to California.  I am eager to get there.  I smile at the Hoover Dam, and wave at Las Vegas.  No, we don't need to stop there, lets just get to our final destination... quickly.  I fiddle with the buttons on the dash, pretending to type.  I offer to dial the cell phone, anything just to push buttons and keys.  We finally make it to the in-laws.  Its late, too late to set up the computer.  The next day we go to Santa Ana.  Even before we leave the driveway I am impatient to return.  When we do get home my brother-in-law offers us his computer.  Whats this?  I have entered the wrong password?  IMPOSSIBLE!  I try to set up the laptop, but the in-laws won't let us use their phoneline, and the modem for their dsl is incompatible for our service.  By now I am sweating.

The next morning its off to Disneyland, and more delays.  We don't get the rooms my sister-in-law reserved so there is a big issue about it.  Does it have a phoneline?  Then we'll take it!  When we finally make it to the room I plug the laptop in.  I offered to help my husband with his homework assignment just so I could use the computer.  I quickly unplug the phone and plug the line into the modem, set up the local access and poof, I'm online.  I shoot a quick entry before anyone even knows I'm on. 

Unbeknown to me that would be my only opportunity to get online.  I would go the rest of my vacation cold turkey.  My fingers tap nervously at anything.  I look longingly at the billboards we pass for hotels advertising internet service.  I begin to lose interest in the vacation and daydream of my return home, and to my awaiting computer... my Precioussssssss.  I don't nag when my husband speeds along the interstates, it just means we'll get home that much quicker.

Finally we are home.  I pass by the computer room while bringing our things in from the truck.  Later, over dinner I pretend to enjoy the meal and conversation.  I laugh mechanically at some show on TV, then hurry the kids off to bed.  I insist that my husband not wait for me, I'll be up when I finish the beer I just opened.  Finally they are gone and I bolt into the computer room like a bullet.  I'm online in no time and logged on to AOL.  'Welcome', the Aol dude says, 'You've got mail!'.  I could kiss him, and I would if I wasn't afraid of getting electrocuted.  I read my mail with a big smile on my face.  My fingers tap out passwords and URL's blindly.  I feel all of the tension leaving my body.  I am home.