WHY I DON'T GO TO BALLS

I went to a ball before, it was a Unit Ball when my husband was still active duty.  It wasn't just the usual dining out, it was a BALL!  And I was expected to wear a gown, not just a dress.  I had never been to a ball before.  In fact I hadn't even been to a high school prom, so I was very excited.

My husband bought me a beautiful purple lace 2 piece formal skirt outfit.  It was the most beautiful outfit I had ever worn besides my wedding dress.  I wanted to do my hair up, but the last time I had my hair done it cost $72 for a do that wilted half way through the party, so I decided to do a temporary home perm.  I bought the rollers, the solution, and got to work.  Unfortunately when your hair is 3 feet long it takes a long LONG time to set.  My husband had to help out because I thought my arms were going to drop off.

So, while I'm waiting for my hair to dry, I began to get ready.  Next thing on the list, press on nails!  I use super glue to make sure they stay on good, and then I polish the nails a deep wine color that matches my outfit.  Next, apply prefab face.  That goes on without a hitch and I was actually ahead of schedule, which was good being as I was about to encounter every problem in the book.

 

Did you know that it is almost impossible to put on control top panty hose with press-on nails?  I learned that the hard way.  In the end I had to enlist the help of my husband.  I went through 2 pairs due to popping holes from my perfect plum colored Lees.  And... if I thought rolling my hair was hard, I was about to experience something even worse... UNROLLING my hair!  After the last curler was removed I looked like Bozo the clown!  I tried wetting down my hair but it hardly made a difference.  It didn't help that my husband stood by barely able to contain his laughter.

I ended up clipping my hair down and it almost looked like I had actually intended to look that way, so I still went to the hotel feeling good about myself.  We sat with people I had never met before, but I had on my Lee press-on nails, and I felt marvelous!  I ate my dinner in between animated conversations in which I waved my hands and flashed my beautiful nails.  Towards the end of the meal I excused myself to go to the restroom.  When I moved to wash my hands I saw to my complete dismay that my nails were full of baked potatoes and sour cream from my dinner.  Not being used to the extra length of my new nails I had evidently gouged the spud on my plate more than once and was no doubt flashing it around the table during my dinner conversation.  No wonder everyone was laughing.  And there I was thinking I was being witty.

That was the last time I wore artificial nails, and my last ball.  And so while I love a good party, I don't do well at balls and will have to sit the Cyber-ball out.  To the elected court, my congratulations, but Cinderella will just have to read about this one the day after.

CYBER-SOCIALIZATION

I just read on the journal message board where it was stated that the internet was not a social convention.  I didn't know that!  Everyday when I log on I come in contact with dozens of other internet users and I thought that what we were doing was socializing.  True, it was not a convention, but it was true socializing.  Just because we were not face to face in the flesh, we still traded comments, shared ideas and thoughts, and with each day we learn a little more about each other, become more familiar.  We bond over cyber-space.  We develope a relationship of sorts.  What is it if not socializing?  Seriously folks, any ideas?  Cos my friends here are just as important to me as my friends in my neighborhood or at work.  Some I even like BETTER than some people I know in the flesh.  Is there an alternative name for this alternative form of friendship and aquaintence?  If not should we make one up?  Or should we all just consider them all as friends.

COMPUTER OVER-LOAD

Contrary to common belief, the title of this entry doesn't refer to a virus or malfunction.  At least not for a computer.  This is in regards to the over abundance of computers in my household.  By over abundance, I mean 2 or more.  6 years ago I didn't even own a computer.  Then my sister gave me a hand-me-down monstrocity that I don't think even had a brand name.  It ran on DOS, and there was something about BASIC that I was supposed to study, but I never did.  Maybe thats why its 475mb harddrive crashed on me so many times.  The only windows this computer had were the ones I had inadvertently hammered in while attempting one of a million re-boots.

My next computer was a packard bell.  That one had about 800mb, enough to load Windows on, but barely enough to operate it.  It had a modem and I was able to install free-mail until my husband realized how quiet I would get while messing around on the computer.  Liking the peace and quiet, he subscribed to AOL.  The peace was short lived once the cussing at the computer began.  People would hear me from the freeway 8 miles away and drop off computer parts to help fix my problems.  Nothing worked, lets face it, you wouldn't let a preschooler fix a skyscraper, so don't expect me to fix a computer.  When I finally had enough money invested in my stocks I sold them all and bought a cheap little emachine.  With 4.3 gb of harddrive and 128 ram I was in cyber-heaven!

But, as any cyber-junkie will tell you, its not easy to share.  I would 'hog-cheese' the computer and not let anyone else on.  The kids couldn't load games on it because they would take up too much of the precious harddrive space.  And my husband was always online when I was at work, making it impossible for me to call the house, which I only tried because I knew he was on my computer and it irritated me that he was on instead of me! 

We eventually got a separate line for the computer, and with unlimited internet access life was good!  It didn't take long to outgrow the eMachine though, and with my digital camera filling up my shrinking hd it was time for a new computer.  My husband was given a laptop for school, but the computer monster had taken control of him along time ago and although he generously added my name onto his computer as an authorized user, he would not let me load anything on or customize my settings.  Basically, he would not share!

Not a problem, a new eMachine was introduced just about the time my profit sharing check was due to come out, and I put it on layaway.  Now my husband has a Dell, and he decided that it was the best computer out there.  I'm not convinced, I think its over-priced and he's just a sucker for the commercials, but when he offered to pay the difference and get me a Dell, I jumped at the opportunity, on one condition.... he not dictate what I can and cannot do with MY computer.  The kids automatically inherited my old eMachine.  Okay, are you keeping count?  Thats 3 computers. 

A few weeks after my Dell arrived, my husband comes home with yet another computer... another Dell.  He justs wants me to take a look at it, which I do.  It hasn't got a monitor or keyboard, but its a nice machine.  Not worth the $ the guy is asking, and I say I wouldn't pay more than $300 for it since it needs a lot to make it usable.  Next thing I know we're the proud owner of computer #4!  We've taken the monitor and keyboard off of the eMachine and put it on the Dell so the kids have their own computer.  Thats the Frankenputer I use on occasion.  They get mad at me when I use it, cos they don't like to share either.  They can have it.... I think its haunted, or maybe the keyboard isn't compatible.  What ever the reason, sometimes it starts typing backwards and all funky. 

So yes, we have 4 functioning computers in the house.  The little eMachine is just waiting to be hooked up in one of the kids rooms after my oldest boy goes off to basic.  Then instead of having little family gatherings in the den, we can all sit in our rooms and chat online with a 'lol' and a 'brb'!

MY .com LIFE

I know now that I am in the final stages of 'author-writus', or BS, bloggers syndrome.  My free waking moments are spent infront of the computer, even as my morning coffee is brewing, most times before my first visit to the bathroom.  I've got highspeed internet, but its too slow.  I have a huge crush on the 'You've got mail' guy, I quiver when I hear him late at night when the rest of the house is asleep.  My social life is a .com.  My sister calls and asks how I am, I send her the link to my journal.  My house is a mess, but only until I can find a compatible reformat program.  The kids are good lately and haven't been leaving whiney comments on my journal.  I think my husband really believes I'm having cyber-sex or some kind of online affair.  He'd probably be disappointed to discover that I'm just writing in my journal.  If he were to actually READ my journal, I'd probably be in all kinds of trouble for calling him a Dickidoo!  Oh well, such is my .com life! 

STATE FLOWER

I just added a beautiful graphic of my state flower, the Columbine, to my ABOUT ME column.  This comes from one of our charter members, the talented smartypantzjessi .  Check out her journal for more examples of her work. 

DINNER AND A BLOG...

How many of you eat at your computer and I don't mean snacking.  I'm talking all out meals.  I'm talking breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner!  I ask as I sit here with a plate of waffles perched precariously on a stack of cd cases next to the monitor, a large glass of milk to the left of the keyboard, and my coffee cup... missing in action!

Except for weekends, breakfast is an 'every man for himself' meal. Most of the time I'm running late and therefore don't have time for breakfast, but when I do, its usually consumed right here by the light of my monitor.  My lunch break at work is long after the kids at home eat, so I drive home just to make sure they have eatten and not burned the house down.  My lunch, if I have one, is also spent infront of the computer as I check my email.

Dinner, or supper as I like to call it, is our family time, when we sit down together at the table to eat and talk about the day's events.  But every now and then, like on nights when 'he's' at class, I sit the kids infront of the tv with their supper and I go into the computer room and eat my meal by the light of my monitor.  It helps me to digest, really it does!

SLOW DOWNLOAD

My daughter Rocky was working on the computer last night then came to me and said with a very frustrated tone:

"Mama, that site loads slower than Becca's brain!"  Oh my gosh, I couldn't believe my 9 year old said that about her 12 year old sister!  Naturally I scolded her, but I had to admit, that was a good one!  Yep, its a keeper, I've already got it written in my little book of computer one-liners!  Hehehehe!  Thats my girl!